Yesterday, you’ll remember, we told you about Rihanna and Britney having a bit of a sexy dance on stage that culminated in a cheery BDSM pillowfight. But, headstrong as we are, we managed to miss out the rest of the event in its entirety – and didn’t let you know about Beyoncé and her mind-blowing performance.
It’s beautiful. Beyoncé looks great, of course, but then again Beyoncé always looks great and that’s not really news as such. She was wearing a dress made of bits of old string and second-hand dreamcatchers, which is actually sexier than it sounds.
See? We told you
What is news is that she was the centrepiece of a tremendous visual spectacle roughly akin to grinding up and snorting a pair of 3D spectacles. We imagine.
It all starts off epic and builds from there. At first you’re thinking, “Hey, where are her backing dancers? She can’t dance around on her own like that, can she?” and then BLAM, the screen behind her fills up with a hundred identical Beyoncés all dancing in rhythm. Funky stuff.
It’s a shame the song’s kind of a bum-clinker, really. Although that sample at the heart of it that sounds a bit like a car starting gives it a modicum of charm, even if it’d be largely impossible to dance to (unless you’re Beyoncé with her superpower of Frenetic Funk) and you really wouldn’t want to be caught listening to it.
Watching it, sure. But not listening
Bum-clinkers aside, Beyoncé dispenses with the virtual back-up Beyoncés and, with a flash, unveils a hundred backing dancers that she happened to have hiding backstage. That’s just how she rolls. Even though they’ve paid them, she isn’t going to use them for the whole song. Badass.
Then she walks into the audience and shouts at that guy from Glee. It’s basically everything you could want from a performance. Aside from a half-decent song, anyway.