Swimsuit model extraordinaire Brooklyn Decker is in Berlin promoting her new film Just Go With It. In Germany the film is called Meine Erfundene Frau, a title that translates as ‘My Imaginary Wife’.

FHM doesn’t have an imaginary wife (why would you imagine commitment?), but we do have several fantasy friends and a number of bed buddies that are nothing more than figments of our imagination. Like, Shauna for example. Boy did we have a good time this weekend. First we did ‘doggie’, then ‘reverse cowgirl’, then ‘the rifleman’ and then… well, then nothing, FHM isn’t a machine, you know.

Turned out the Washing Machine Repair Man had 'misread' the situation

But enough about our rather bizarre and dysfunctional private life and back to Brooklyn’s completely normal, functioning life. A normal, functioning life that sees the 23-year-old, Ohio-born model pose for the likes of Sports Illustrated during the day and hang out with her husband, tennis star Andy Roddick, at night.

"I'm too sexy for this swimsuit, too sexy for..."

Have you ever been to Ohio? If not, don’t go, it’s largely dull, although The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland is worth a look. If so, did you drive past this quite simply mind-blowing giant picnic basket (below)?

"Damn it," said God, "forgot the pork pies"

It’s not a joke, by the way. It’s the headquarters of The Longaberger Company, a (surprise, surprise) basket-making business based in Newark, Ohio. FHM knows this, because we once ran out of petrol about 500 yards down the road from it and had to run in to ask for assistance.

What happened next? Well, nothing really. We entered the basket and asked for help, but no-one was able to give us any. Liars? Possibly, but we didn’t care. We’d walked into an office that was a picnic basket, for Christ’s sake. Our life was complete.

Depressed Monk hung himself from the waistband gallows