WARNING: look away now if you hate looking at pictures of attractive women wearing nothing but pants.

Female person Candice Swanepoel is, like Miranda Kerr, Alessandro Ambrosio, Marisa Miller, Doutzen Kroes, Adriana Lima and Heidi Klum, a Victoria’s Secret model.

She, and they, is, and are, carrying on the noble tradition of looking tremendous from on from Helena Christensen, Karen Mulder, Stephanie Seymour, Daniela Pestova, Tyra Banks, Yasmeen Ghauri, Ines Rivero, Laetitia Casta, Gisele Bundchen, Karolina Kurkova, Izabel Goulart and Selita Ebanks before them.

Tough gig. But Candice Swanepoel doesn’t care:

The South African’s got a pink bit at the top of her zebra pants and isn’t afraid to tug it. She’s at it again:

One of our favourite things about these Victoria’s Secret pants that Candice Swanepoel is modelling is that they don’t match. Matching pants are way overrated. They make ladies who like falling out of bed in the morning and putting on the first clean bra and knickers they can find feel bad, and they’re the kind of ladies we hang out with. We’ll confess that not all of them look like Candice Swanepoel but that’s because we like a bit of variety in our lives. Fillet steak is an undeniably gourmet thing to eat, but if you had it every day you’d feel sick a lot and get fat. You dig?

We’ve just realised that what’s actually happening here is that Candice Swanepoel is modelling a few varieties of pants but wearing the same bra throughout. We should pay more attention to what’s going in the world rather than constantly imagining what the world would be like if there was no air but only water and no humans but only dogs with wings that can breathe underwater and no food but tubes dangling down from the sky that you plug yourself into when you’re hungry.




1/ Candice Swanepoel is some kind of bikini angel
2/ Candice Swanepoel is in a bikini now
3/ Candice Swanepoel advertises a bra with her bum


1/ Eva Longoria wants to be stalked
2/ Frankie Sandford wore a tight purple dress
3/ Kelly Brook is a lady in red