Hey, fact fans. Want some facts? Hankering for facts like a drunk man hankers for questionable poultry in batter? Well sit right there. Get ready to be juiced up to the max. Because here, right here, are some facts:
FACT NUMBER ONE
Carmen Electra is 38 years old.
FACT NUMBER TWO
FHM is less than 38 years old.
FACT NUMBER THREE
As people get older, they (generally) become less flexible. That’s why babies regularly suck on their own toes and old people don’t.
BONUS FACT THAT’S KIND OF NOT REALLY A FACT AND ACTUALLY KIND OF UNDERMINES FACT NUMBER THREE AS WELL
It could well be that Fact Number Three was partially false and that old people actually don’t suck on their own toes because they’ve been conditioned to think it’s a bit weird and gross.
Anyway, ipso facto, you’d assume that FHM would be better at yoga than Carmen Electra.
But, wipso sucktoe, you’d be wrong.
Pink mat took a well-earned break from being the resting place of rotund housewives
About a month ago, on the windiest Friday in the history of wind, three FHM men donned Man Utd shirts and schlepped up Primrose Hill in London to do some ‘Ryan Giggs yoga’. It went badly.
Tom Howard refused to take off the grey beanie he once stole from a tramp because his bald head was cold.
Rob McGarr lost balance while doing a ‘vrksasana’ (tree pose) and stepped barefoot in what he really, really hoped was a small pile of mud that had magically moulded into log-like shapes.
And then, much to their chagrin, Matt Hambly – a man who makes Bambi look athletic – turned out to be quite good at it.
Grass strip snuck in surreptitiously
To see the full yoga debacle, and discover how Ryan Giggs is still really bloody good at football despite being older than Gandalf’s granddad, pick up the new issue of FHM (the one with Kelly Brook on tut front).