You’ve got to admire Cheryl Cole, ower lil’ souldja (Geordie speak). After a rocky couple of months, battling both malaria and that more awkward mosquito Ashley Cole, she’s bounced back spectacularly. The video for new single Promise This has just emerged, and she looks radiant, elegant and positively divine. Wow. Alcopop hangovers make us so emotional. We haven’t got a soft spot for her or anything, that’s just objective fact. Should ever her career in music dry up, her natural poise and porcelain features could herald a future in the ballet. We could just see her breaking some lothario’s balls in The Nutcracker, gracefully traversing the stage before giving him a swift kick to the gonads. We’d take that hit.

Cheryl’s single, released yesterday, has already been the cause of much divided opinion. And we’re not quite sure what to make of it either, periodically shifting from tortured-lover mode to the lyrics of the French children’s sing-along Alouette. Some have said it’s paying homage to her new boyfriend Derek Hough, sweeping her off her feet with his dancing twinkle-toes. Others have warned it was done to cause a giant rift in Anglo-French relations, thus reigniting a rivalry on the same scale as the Napoleonic Wars. But hopefully that was just scaremongering. Anyhow, take a listen and decide for yourself. And make sure to warn us if you see any French warships approaching from Dover. Our P&O cruisers could blow those ninnies out of the water any day.

Some other great stuff we've got on Cheryl Cole:

1/ Cheryl Cole was the best thing in Cannes
2/ Cheryl Cole is getting divorced
3/ An amazing leggy picture of Cheryl Cole
4/ What rudeness is Cheryl Cole up to?
5/ Cheryl Cole is FHM's Sexiest Woman in the World 2010

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3/ Chelsea Handler sex tape leaked