“I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight,” sang foppish warbler Chris de Burgh. He then sang a load of other lines that rhymed things like dance and romance, which only really works if you pronounce ‘dance’ like a northern person or ‘romance’ like ‘ro-mar-nce’, which is obviously stupid.

Chris de Burgh didn’t let this bother him, he just carried on regardless and reached the big crescendo, going all “The lady in red, the lady in red, the lady in red, my lady in red (I love you)”. Go on Chris de Burgh, sing those words you daft old ro-marn-tic you.

The Lady in Red is from the 1986 album Into the Light which also featured the song For Rosanna, written to celebrate the birth of his daughter Rosanna Davison, who would later go on to win the Miss World title in 2003. Please note that information came from Wikipedia, which means it’s just as likely that Chris de Burgh was in fact a Russian oligarch and never fathered any spawn.

Cole's glasses were large

At the Elle Style Awards 2011 last night, Cheryl Cole wore a red dress and looked typically lovely. We’re not sure if we’d go as far as to say we’d never seen her looking so lovely as she did last night, because she has looked so flaming lovely so many times we’d find it impossible to quantify such an all-encompassing statement. Let’s just say she was a lady in a red dress who looked lovely. And we love you (whoops, how did that slip out?).

Cheryl Cole topped FHM's 100 Sexiest Women list the last two years in a row. Will she do the unthinkable and and make it a hat-trick, or will someone knock her off the perch of beauty?

We don't know. It's not up to us. It's up to you. About time you voted, int it?