Poor Chezza. After getting kicked off the US X Factor for sounding ‘confusing’ and then not being announced as a judge on the new series of the UK X Factor, we have been looking at some of her best pictures to cheer us up. And we’ve found solace in a song by Travis.

No, not Why Does It Always Rain On Me? – thankfully the frizz-free hair products wor’ favourite Geordie lass flogs on the telly prevent rain being a problem. But take a moment to read and absorb the lyrics from Side:

The grass is always greener on the other side,

Neighbours got a new car that you wanna drive

And when time is running out you wanna stay alive

We all live under the same sky

We all will live, we all will die

There is no wrong, there is no right

The circle only has one side.

Basically, the song means that you can never be satisfied with what you have and you’ll always covet your neighbours Citroen Saxo because it has that new car smell and your car smells of sweat and wet dog.

To further the metaphor, US X Factor was the nice-smelling new car, and the UK version was the dog-smell one, which you bought in ‘metallic grey’ but it’s actually silver and glittery and looks a bit girly.

Cheryl, if you’re reading this, just chill out today. Maybe stick the telly on (Is The Wright Stuff still on?) and maybe reform Girls Aloud in a few weeks time. We’d all like that.