Christine Teigen or, as she’s known to her pals, Chrissy Teigen, is an American model of Thai-Norwegian ancestry. When she’s not appearing in Victoria’s Secret lingerie or the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, she hangs out with her boyfriend John Legend (you know, that “we’re just ordinary people” bloke).

It was Chrissy’s good pal Brooklyn Decker that introduced her to the good folk at Sports Illustrated. Bloody hell, being mates with Brooklyn Decker sounds fairly alright, doesn’t it? Not only can you have sleepovers with the customary pillow fights and marshmallow wrestles, she can get you tickets to Wimbledon courtesy of her husband Andy ‘A-Rod’ Roddick, and she'll bag you a job modeling swimsuits.

Chrstine Teigen Vegas Magazine
We always thought paradise would contain more marshmallows

When we learnt this, we couldn’t help looking at our nearby pals with disdainful dissatisfaction. When we go to their houses, we’re lucky to get a one-foot strip of bed and a streaky bacon on stale bread sarnie in the morning. The closest they have to ‘contacts’ at Wimbledon is that girl they pulled once who claimed to have previously been a ball girl but looked more likely to be seen hanging out with Great Uncle Bulgaria and co on the Common than scurrying around fetching balls on Centre Court. And we'd rather not talk about the only time they managed to secure us a job modeling swimsuits. Ever again. Suffice to say, it was cold, alright?

Anyway, Chrissy Teigen went to a place called Cove Atlantis recently for this photo shoot for Vegas Magazine.

Chrstine Teigen bikini
Good job we've got our Junior Lifesaver Award

Here’s what happened:

0.04: Nice palm tree, that. Looks pretty stable.

0.13: Chrissy Teigen’s trying to push over that palm tree. The silly sausage, doesn’t she realize how sturdy it looks?

0.17: Right, Chrissy Teigen is hanging off a giant spoon like a rogue anthropomorphic cornflake. FINE.

0.39: She’s still trying to force that tree over. What is her problem with it, anyway? It’s not budging.

0.41: Just give it a rest will you, Chris? What’s that poor tree ever done to you?

0.43: Finally, some remorse. That’s it, you lie there in the sand and think about what you’ve done.

0.53: She’s still got her eye on that tree, hasn’t she?

1.05: Is she trying to push over that building now? Got to admire her determination, haven’t you?

1.12: Aww, let’s all just hug and make up.

1.13: “If I stay like this long enough, one of those seagulls is bound to land on my back. Then I’ll eat him.”

1.22: “I reckon we can squeeze another film out of this Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

1.27: All that tree-pushing really tires a girl out, it would seem.

Christine Teagan wet bikini
Sunrise and no towels on the sunbeds? Unlikely