Congratulations are in order, we feel, for the beautiful Christina Hendricks, as she’s been awarded the Critics’ Choice award for Best Actress for her role in Mad Men.
Christina Hendricks and her truly epic breasts – and epic isn’t an exaggeration or one of your hip 'young person' slang phrases, actual book-length poems have definitely been written about them by Greek chaps, we’re sure – are in Mad Men. We’re sure Mad Men is great but haven’t been able to watch a full episode because every ten minutes - without fail – we have to excuse ourselves and go for a fag.
Let's not sully this with captions
Can’t for the life of us think why. At the end, we’re left spluttering and grimy and upset because we’ve possibly missed Christina Hendricks and her ridiculous, girl-on-a-pinball-machine, worship-them-instead-of-the-Lord-God-or-any-other-religion-you-care-to-mention breasts. Seriously. Sometimes we can’t believe that they really exist, but then pictures like these show up, and they do. It wasn’t all a dream. They really exist. Everything is okay again.
But yes. She’s quite good at acting, too, apparently, according to the Critics and their Choices. Christina shared the award not only with her spectacular breasts but also with a lady called Margo Martin for her performances in Justified, whatever that is. We’re sure it’s great and everything.
Even though she’s sharing her accolade, mad props are still in order for the achievement, and the breasts. God, they’re like a sunrise on a fine spring morning. They’re invigorating. But, crucially, they’re breasts, so they’re better than sunrises by MILES.