No matter who you are, no matter where you live, the credit crunch has had an impact on your life. For some this has meant redundancy. For others it has meant house repossession. For FHM it has meant downsizing, cycling to work and selling as much spare tat as we can on eBay. And for Ciara it has meant not being able to afford a whole dress.

The 25-year-old singer – full name Ciara Princess Harris – proved this last night when she attended the 7th Annual Peapod Benefit Concert dressed only in this flesh-flashing number. But let’s not feel too sorry for her, eh lads? After all, the R&B strumpet has sold more than 4.3 million albums and 6.9 million singles in the United States alone.

With Ciara distracted, Hedge made his move

Have you bought any of her singles? In fact, could you even name any of her singles? C’mon the clock’s ticking. Just 10 seconds left. Bede bede bededebe boom. Time over. How many did get? Did you scream Goodies? Or 1,2 Step ? Or Oh? Or Get Up? Or This Guessing Game is Really Annoying and Boring!?

Agreed. So instead, let’s discuss a) this fabric-deficient, figure-hugging number and b) why Ciara should feature in our 100 Sexiest Women in the World list this year. First, the dress. It’s great, isn’t it? Perhaps a little too long for our liking, but otherwise, excellent. Now, the poll. Lady Gaga got in last year and yet Ciara didn’t?! Fools, what were you thinking? Look at that body. Vote her in this year, or else.

"You should see the back half," gasped Owl masturbating furiously