Remember Denise Richards? We do. We remember her in Starship Troopers. We remember her enduring the awesome wrath of lunatic genius Charlie Sheen. But most of all, we remember her for this scene from Wild Things, all the way back in 1998:

Gosh, brings back memories, doesn’t it? Back before the internet delivered streaming porn whenever you needed it – and when we were young, vibrant men discovering the wonders of beautiful women – films like Wild Things, and the multitude of slow panning shots as Denise exits that pool, were important. Important and formative.

Also, this video proves that Denise Richards doesn’t know how use a towel. She just sort of vaguely dabs it on wet bits, like a Frenchman might.

Denise Richards releases a new book
Fun fact: In this picture, Denise is chowing down on a massive burrito

Denise, after her tumultuous relationship with Sheen and a career spent slowly emerging from things (be they pools, clothes, or obscurity) has written a book. The book is titled The Real Girl Next Door*, and the cover features her cheerily eating a pen as a couple of photographers get her attention. Great stuff.

The Amazon product listing has this to say about it: “She offers an up-close and personal look at her most intimate battle scars and the lessons she’s learned as she’s healed and grown. Denise’s story will resonate with anyone who has had to look within herself to find strength and courage when life is throwing curveballs.”

Denise Richards releases a new book
We'd throw her a curveball, if you know what we mean

Anyone who’s had to look within herself? Man, if you’d written “themselves” there you’d have doubled your audience. We’re out now. Sorry Denise.

*Which would be a great title for a horror story too, if you think about it