Oh Dita Von Teese, you tease. Wait, did she pick that name on purpose? You can’t be that stunning and just happen to have the name teese.

Imagine if she was called Dita Von Frigid or Dita Von Goes-To-Third-Base-On-The-Second-Date. Or Dita Von Bike. We went to school with someone who should have been called that.

Anyway, Dita Von Teese, who used to go out with perpetual Halloween prop Marilyn Manson, was at a New York fashion week event where everyone had to wear red.

She wore that red dress. That’s basically all you need to know. The crux of the story. She was there, she looked like this. And this is a good thing.

Dita goes out with a fella called Count Louis Marie de Castelbajac – this, unlike hers, is his real name, and he’s a French aristocrat.

He sounds like a bit of a mentalist, really, but that’s probably the jealousy FHM feels towards someone who probably has enough money to have Nandos every day of the week.

Other s’lebs attending the event were Natasha Beddingfield, that singer who wasn’t very good, and Eve, the wrong-side-of-the-tracks philanthropist gangsta.

But, far more interesting than that (seriously, who cares about Natasha Beddingfield, except Natasha Beddingfield’s mum?) was the presence of Brazilian model Camilla Alves, who is Mathew McConaughey’s girlfriend.

Camilla’s gone up in our estimates, because she has to go to Mathew McConaughey’s premieres and be all “Wow, that character was so different from the last one,” (ie: lie through her pearly white teeth).

That has to be pretty damn tough.