What did your mum look like when she dropped you off at school? We ask not out of some sick perversion, but because we’re fairly sure ours didn't look anything like Elle Macpherson and we want to check that we're not alone.


The Cobweb brothers had never been happier

These pictures of the 47-year-old Aussie supermodel were, according to the caption, taken when she went on this morning's school run. Are you effing kidding us? If that's true, there must be men filing for divorce all over West London and a plethora of 'hot and bothered' male teachers seeking an appointment with Matron.

We mean, those heels must be six inches high, those jeans appear to be painted on and that jacket makes her look kind of like a sexy gorilla.


Car coughed, then backfired

Now before you ask, no, we’re never found a gorilla sexy before (although we did once get marginally aroused by an illustration of a topless girl with a head like Bungle from Rainbow), but then again never before have we come across a 6ft gorilla with long, flowing hair and a bikini body that looks like this...


Scarecrow was sexually confused

...We know. A-maz-ing. Add in the fact that she eats like a horse and the rumour that Elle's worth £60 million and you can understand why we reckon Elle stands a chance of becoming the oldest ever entrant in FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World listing when it’s published later this year.

What’s that? Haven’t cast your vote yet? Then don’t delay, you silly, silly man. Click on this link and get voting.