Emma Watson, no longer a child wizard and instead a serious model and actress-type-person, is the new ambassadress for Lancôme. We didn’t even think that ambassadress was a real world until we looked it up, but there you go.

Em-Wats, as we’re calling in her a no doubt short-lived experiment, must smell fantastic. Far from reeking of loose Hufflepuff badgers and discount broom polish cut through with the panic sweat of sexually aroused pubescent warlocks, she smells of fancy new perfume Tresor Midnight Rose.

Emma Watson in a Lancome vid
'Midnight Rose' sounds a lot sexier than 'Midmorning Daffodil'

“But what does that perfume smell like, FHM?” we hear literally no-one asking. We’re going to tell you anyway. The blurb we found here seems to take on the unenviable task of weaving scent notes with a passable narrative, and it fails in a way that can only be described as charming. Charming, and hard to read.

In addition to smelling of mundane things we might recognise, like “raspberries,” “vanilla” and “rose petals,” it also smells of “indolence” and “love at first sight". Or perhaps the raspberries and the rose petals are actually in love? It’s not clear.

Emma Watson in a Lancome ad
We certainly hope the author wasn't paid for that

We think that perfumes smell of too many things. You know what smells nice? Scones. Why can’t people do a perfume that smells of scones? Or coffee? Or bacon?

While we’re working on our Cedar-Smoked Eau de Pork fragrance (“A thick-cut slice of heaven”), enjoy this video comprised of a bunch of stills of Emma being shifted around to give the impression of movement, and the girl herself chatting about “the magic of midnight” and “youthful energy". Cracking stuff.