It’s St Patrick’s day, and in true FHM style, we’re going to quickly move onto an unrelated matter and talk about Keeley Hazell. We have some stills from her new film, Venus & The Sun, and we wanted to share them with you because we’re nice people.

The short film depicts Keeley in a slightly different world to our own – she’s all about reading Latin and chilling out in the library, which we’re down with. No, seriously, we went to the library once when we were at university as it was cheaper sitting in there than heating our flat.

'Daz 4 Sara' was scribbled on the ceiling

Keeley wants to escape the world of glamour modelling, and since she’s so good at Latin, she can use spells and superpowers. We think she should totally educate kids on the importance of education, since she seems to be able to pull off some crazy antics thanks to her thirst for knowledge.

As you can see in our stills, Keeley has the hots for a guy who works at the library. So she does the right thing and tries seducing him, with hilarious results. He doesn’t seem that interested, even when she’s lying on a pile of books. Dude is crazy.

"Please sir, can I have some more?"

Venus & The Sun is also the first film ever (in the history of all things that ever happened) to be downloadable as an app for your iPhone, iPad, iDog, iFox or iFridge. It also works on other ‘smart’ phones, but sadly, if your phone is a bit stupid, it won’t be able to download the film. Sadface.

Download the app here.