Yesterday, we began our epic quest to overcome Comic Con and find as many beautiful women as we could in the limited time available. Here's part two, complete with even more swearing.

Ridiculous levels of nerd-crush, here

Lucy Lawless, who used to be Xena and is now in that soft-porn-for-girls Spartacus: Blood and Sand, was there too. And if you think even for a second than Lucy Lawless shouldn’t be included in this list of hot girls, then, you are massively wrong for two reasons:

1) She probably makes that Xena leg-kicking noise in bed which is HOT, and
2) You have obviously not seen Spartacus: Blood and Sand because she is somehow even hotter than she used to be. Just look:

Lucy Lawless in Spartacus: Blood and Sand
See? We weren't kidding

Yeah. Gets her top off a fair bit too. Give it a shot, that’s all we’re saying.

Um, hello

We don’t know who this girl was dressed as. We asked her to smile for us and she said “Oh no, this character never smiles. He’s very serious.” Is he? Right. Good stuff. Moving on.

This makes us happy in ways we can't quite describe

This is the Adventure Time stand, for no reason other than it’s fucking awesome. For a while, just before we could get our camera out, Andrew WK of Party Hard fame was rocking out underneath that dog’s legs. Epic.

Some shoddy cosplaying, here

Booth babes are a mainstay of Comic Con, and while we’re kicking ourselves for not getting a shot of the ridiculously attractive Saints Row girls (or their real life Dr Genki’s man-a-pult) we’ll make do with this chirpy character from the nearby SSX stand. She looks a bit tired, and fair play to her. We must have been the hundredth nerd to take her picture that morning.

Whose footprints are these?

These chaps dressed up as the baddies from Metal Gear Solid, which we thought was pretty clever. Then we choked them to death by repeatedly pressing square.

Shoes: too red?

Nina Dobrev off The Vampire Diaries, which we don’t actually watch by the way, was attending in connection with (appropriately) The Vampire Diaries. Also she was attending in connection with her fantastic legs, which is why we’re really interested.

And finally, crushingly, there is a photograph we can’t publish. After interviewing Hulk Hogan – Hulk actual Hogan – he got us to lock arms and growl into the camera with him. It’s the sort of shit you dream of when you’re a kid.

Seven hours after the picture was taken, the camera was stolen in a smoky San Diego nightclub called Whisky Girl. Somewhere out there, that punk who stole it has a picture of FHM and Hulk Hogan growling into the lens. They’d best be ready for some justice, because next year, we’re gonna find them and unleash the full power of FHMania on them. Until then, you’ll just have to imagine the picture. As will we. Sniff.