Just look at lovely lovely Clair Meek. Lovely eh? You’re almost certainly thinking, “mmm, she’s lovely”. But you may also be thinking, “who is she?” So let’s take things back a couple of steps, like on X Factor when they stretch 10 minutes of new footage across a two-hour show by interspersing it with montages of stuff from previous shows or things that happened five minutes earlier. “Oh look, there’s that fat whiney kid crying again because his sister’s pet goldfish died fifteen years ago.” Get. Out. Of. My. Life.

Clair Meek grew up in Kilmarnock. That’s in Ayrshire. Which is in Scotland. Ed-yuuu-cayyy-shan-allllll.

In 2007, she was an FHM High Street Honey’s finalist. Here's her entry tape:

 

 

She didn’t win. Some other girl (Lisa-Helen Ralph) did. Clair’s still bitter. Who wouldn’t be? She didn’t let it get the better of her, though. In 2008 she bounced back to top Zoo’s weekly ‘Hot List’. You go girl. She's even in this week's Zoo Magazine.

That’s your history lesson done. Now let’s move on to current affairs.

Watch The Inbetweeners last night? ‘Course you did, it’s what Monday nights are for. If you did, you’ll have seen further evidence of Jay’s complete inability to get laid. If you didn’t, that’s hardly what you’d call a ‘spoiler’.

Thing is, sometimes life doesn’t imitate art (guess Oscar Wilde wasn’t an Inbetweeners fan), because, in real life, James Buckley is actually a bit of a lady-killer.

The lovely Clair Meek is his latest squeeze, and they’re both happier than a pig with diarrhoea.

“Yep that’s my fella ): literally never been this happy! :)”, the glamour model tweeted.

There’s something else interesting about Clair – she’s bloody tiny. She’s 5'2", which means she could hide behind a bottle of Tomato Ketchup. Her waist is only 22”, which is about half the circumference of one of tree-trunk-limbed Roberto Carlos’ legs. Her shoe size is 3, which means she can share footwear collections with Jiminy Cricket. Her dress size is 4-6, which means you could lift her up without suffering a hernia. And finally, her bust is 28G, and you know full-well what that means.

If you're wondering, here's the girl that beat Clair to the High Street Honey's top spot in '07: