Name: Gwen Stefani
Why she’s a MAM: She may be older than two Miley Cyruses plus one toddler, but No Doubt frontwoman Gwen Stefani is still so blazingly hot that it makes us want to run our brains under a cold tap just thinking about her.
Take a lusty look, if you will, at the video for No Doubt’s new single, Settle Down. (If cheery ska-pop isn’t your thing, you may want to drop the volume down during your ogling).
Just to remind you: Gwen Stefani is 42 years-old. That shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
(On an entirely unrelated note, two of the guys in No Doubt have massively daft hair, considering they’re both well into their forties. Let it go, lads. Let it go).
Her fanbase: Many 30-plus/40-plus men have held fairly intense crushes on Gwen since the mid-'90s, when No Doubt first hit the mega-time with the worldwide Number-One hit Don’t Speak.
And yet, while Gwen appears to have aged roughly a fortnight since 1996, those 30-plus/40-plus men are now showing the ravages of time, with their hair greying, their spines creaking and their knees constantly buckling from under them.
Thus, their long-running love of Gwen is tinged with a kind of bittersweet melancholy. That, and a nagging suspicion that Gwen is regularly drinking the blood of sacrificed virgin goats in order to stay unnaturally youthful.
We dare you to disagree!?
Not convinced by our MAMification of Gwen? Reckon there's a MAMier pop warbler out there? Then let’s hear who and why!