Name: Mariah Carey

Age: 42

Why she’s a MAM: For men of a certain age, it feels like caramel-skinned, silken-voiced, bombastically-proportioned Mariah has been around forever.

First emerging in 1990 with a string of vast, warbling ballads, Carey didn’t really come into her own until the late ’90s, when she reinvented herself as a mucky R’n’B diva who looked so hot in her videos that it made your mind ache and your hands feel all tingly. For example:



Yes to that arse-slapping, Mariah – a thousand times yes. 

Of course, along with Celine Dion and the late Whitney Houston, Mariah is responsible for an entire generation of wannabe pop-stars growing up believing that there’s no point singing just one note when you can cram 48 in.

It makes sense, then, that she’s just signed up to appear as a judge on the next series of American Idol, in order to dispense ditzy and endearingly useless advice to starstruck contestants half her age (all of whom she looks about ten times hotter than).

Her fanbase: No matter how many nubile R’n’B hotties crowd their way into the charts, there will always be a place in many a young man’s heart for Mariah.

Sadly, she’s now married to one young man in particular – Nick Cannon, who’s ten years her junior, which makes Carey not only a MAM, but a cougar as well. Arguably, in fact, the Greatest Cougar On The Face Of The Planet.

We dare you to disagree! Not convinced by our MAMification of Mariah? Reckon there’s a MAMier pop lady out there? Then let’s hear who and why!