HEY! You like women? You like Hollywood? You like top fives of things? Well gee whiz, this article is right up your alley, son!
Last night was the 18th Annual Women in Hollywood Tribute, where, uh, tribute is paid to women. That live and/or work in Hollywood. Presumably fruit baskets are involved. But which of them looked most awesome? Which of them, as it were, floated our methaphorical boats more than the others? There's only one way to find out. LIST!
Top of the shop at number 5 is Jennifer Aniston, who might well have placed lower down were it not for Comedy Central showing all the old episodes of Friends again, and us having nothing to do all Sunday. God, wasn't she incredibly hot back at the start of Friends? She's still pretty cool now, obvo, and we'd totally still buy her a drink if she wasn't astonishingly well-off anyway.
4th place goes to Evan Rachel Wood, who's pretty sexy in a weird kind of way. She looks interesting. We bet she has a cat and drinks expensive coffee. Evan Rachel Wood's one of the select group of women who've had sex with Marylin Manson, and the shuddering afterthought of that is why she's not placed higher.
In 3rd, we have Amber Heard. Which rhymes! Goddamnit but we love Amber Heard – this is the third article with her in it in as many working days. But WHATEVER. She's so cool - gorgeous, well-dressed, fancies women. So kind of a shame she's not interested in us, but hot lesbians are top notch in our book.
Claiming the silver medal is Alice Eve. We don't have anything particularly interesting to say about Alice Eve, aside from the fact that we think her dress is pretty neat, so here's a list of amusingly-named women who also attended the party, in ascending order of amusement caused to us: Jayma Mays, Chelsea Handler, Busy Phillips and Cobie Smulders. Seriously. They sound like Captcha recognition phrases.
And finally, the woman we reckon looked best is Freida Pinto. You know, her off Slumdog Millionaire? Yeah. She looked fantastic. Very slinky. Congratulations to all women involved. We out.