Bad news, it seems ‘the Milk Tray Man’ has let himself go. This week, some eight years after he was dumped as the face of the confectionary brand, the 80s advertising legend emerged from the shadows to present Frankie Sandford with two boxes of his favourite choccies. Why? All because the lady loves Milk Tray, obviously.

But does the lady in question (i.e. Frankie) actually love Milk Tray? Sadly for her admirer, it seems not. It seems he should have gone for fast food instead. “If I am being bad I like a big cheese burger with no ketchup,” smiles the 22-year-old, who finished fourth in last year’s FHM 100 Sexiest Women in the World poll.

Okay, so if wandering up unshaven and handing over some Milk Tray doesn’t work, how should one approach the fox who is currently dating West Ham left-back Wayne Bridge? “Taking the piss is the best way,” states The Saturday. “If someone’s funny that’s great. The first thing someone says to you is the biggest thing.”

Do you want to know what the first thing FHM said to Frankie was? “Stop jumping on the bed.” Hot, huh? Hardly, but in fairness we were technically correct. Within two minutes The Saturdays – who were having a pillow fight while dressed in lingerie (it’s a tough job, and all that) – had broken the bed and left FHM to foot the bill.”

You owe us, Sandford. You owe us £320. But we’ll settle for another sexy shoot of you, Una, Mollie and the girls. We’re nice like that.

What's the point of a bag that big? Note: this isn't a joke, just a question