It was an action movie that catapulted her into the cosmic glare. Yet now, Gemma Arterton wants to turn her back on big blockbusters altogether in favour of some more serious acting jobs. Perhaps all those superlatives that were showered on her after her turn in Tamara Drewe have gone to her head. We don't know if she was good or not as we didn't see it. No. We spent quite a lot of time cropping and scaling pictures of her in hotpants, but unfortunately we never got to see her moving in them. We were actually meant to go about a fortnight ago, but couldn't make it because of some urgent business that involved a ball of string attached to a plastic bat.

Here is Gemma looking rather fetching next to a giant shoe. As far as we are aware, there are no plans in the pipeline to make a glorified, filmic version of 'Old Mother Hubbard'. But it's a pretty good idea, we think. Living in a diamond-studded stiletto beats shacking up in a reeking old boot anyday. Actually, it's a completely riduculous proposition. It would just be too uncomfortable to sleep in. Not to mention mathematically unfeasible, which we won't mention because numbers aren't really our strong point. We'd be a banker if they were, helping you shred your hard-earned cash before you've even seen a penny of it.