Cricket, eh? Whether you're in fancy dress and drinking gin at 7am with the Barmy Army, singing your hearts out just to wind up Mitchell Johnson or sitting in front of your telly watching the Test with a few mates, it's hard to think of another sport that's so easily allied with being a wastrel.
However, one thing cricket is not generally known for is glamour. To address this, the people behind Twenty20 have appointed Gemma Merna of playing Carmel McQueen in Hollyoaks fame to captain the Lazy Bar Walkers at the T20 final at Edgbaston. The LBWs’ (Clever,eh?) job is quite simply to wait on cricket fans, hand and foot, and look extremely attractive while they’re doing it. GENIUS.
We caught up with Gemma to talk about her new role…
Congratulations on being appointed captain of the LBWs. Were you a fan before you were approached about the position?
Well I’ve recently got into it because I live in Lancashire and my partner’s mother’s a fan of the Lancashire Lightning, so I’ve taken a bit of an interest in it. I’m doing my best to learn about it.
How’s your cricket knowledge coming along?
It’s getting better. It’s quite hard to understand, but it is definitely getting better. We went to Edgbaston to watch one of the games recently, which helped. It’s a nice calming game really.
No helmet. No bat. No leg-guards. Nothing. Poor preparation, Gemma
Was the captain's position something you put yourself forward for?
Yeah, it was - I think it’s a fantastic idea. Either if it’s a group of lads or a group of girls, you can go on the website, order yourself one of the girls or the guys to serve you drinks and food all day, and you can just watch the cricket and have a nice day.
You’ve taken over the role from Sam Faiers’ (The Only Way Is Essex). What would you say that says about the North versus South rivalry?
Well, I think that proves that the North is better!
So, Have you ever played cricket?
When I was in school!
Were you any good?
From what I can remember, I’m good at just getting the ball and hitting it. Very far!
Moving on to Hollyoaks, If they put together a cricket team, girls versus boys, who would you put on each side and why?
Well obviously the girls team would be the whole McQueens family, because we would whip the boys. Then on the other team you have to have all the old school guys like Tony, you know well actually Tony’s the only old school male isn’t there? I suppose Andy, Rhys and Gilly would be involved. But the McQueens would win, obviously.
Nope, she's ditched them in favour of a bat. Well, she can't say we didn't warn her
And how about a cricket-based story line in Hollyoaks involving Carmel, how would you like to see it going?
Oh yeah! Well she’s doing that at the moment with religion with a priest, so I’m sure if she got into cricket she'd find a cute bowler, or batsman wouldn’t she? Yeah, once she’s done with religion, she’ll go onto cricket.
To order one of your own LBWs, visit www.lazybarwalkers.co.uk