Tonight sees the glorious return of Great British Bake Off - arguably the greatest show of dramatised food porn to ever grace an electronic picture box.

And we can't bloody wait - largely because it means we get to pour over stomach-pleasing food offerings that we'd never be able to cook ourselves and also because there's a good chance we can discover a new Ruby Tandoh. The kooky former model that had us head of helicopters in love last season.

Here's why last year she was the hottest thing to happen to a cookery show since Nigella Lawson first licked a wooden spoon...

01  She’s mastered the sexy lip bite


Find us one man that isn’t instantly seduced by a well-timed lip bite and we’ll show you a liar.

02  She’s dead cute and polite. She even puts her hand up when she asks questions

03  She looks really hot when she’s angry

04  But realises when she’s being moody and apologises

How could you not accept an apology like that?

And if the apology doesn’t work, she throws in a head tilt. It’s like the Bambi School of Apologies and it’s awesome.

05  She’s actually an awesome chef and gets really into it

She’s the best. If she doesn’t win we’ll never eat pastry again.*


Think we're talking a load of hoo-ha? Tell us who we should be voting for in the comments below....