Many happy returns, Cheryl Cole! Congratulations on reaching the age of 28. Although you probably don’t read this website very often, so wishing you congratulations on anything is a bit of a fool’s errand.

Ho hum. Anyway. Here’s lovely Geordie superstar Cheryl Cole at her 28th Birthday party last weekend. Doesn’t she look happy? Do you like her new hair? We do. We think it makes her look a bit like a character from a Japanese cartoon. In a good way, though. Not in a tentacles way.

Lovely Cheryl Cole in a kind of odd dress

We’re not sure a huge fan of the dress, but to be honest, Cheryl could wear some old sacks she found round the back of a KFC and still look incredible. She’s really quite something. Probably wouldn’t smell so good, though.

In addition to Cheryl, former bandmates Kimberley Walsh and Nicola Roberts* showed up to to the Purple Bar in London to celebrate Cheryl’s big two-eight. You know who else was there? Most of the Black Eyed Peas. All the members you could recognise, anyway.

You know you’ve made it when Will.I.Am is eating a slice of your birthday cake and playing pin the tail on the donkey. Bandmate Fergie won a round of pass the parcel (inside was a Spice Girls CD which she already had but didn't say anything) even though Apl.De.Ap CLEARLY cheated and 'accidentally' ripped off two layers instead of one meaning that eveyone had less fun overall. Not cool, Apl.De.Ap. Not cool at all.

Kimberley Walsh at Cheryl Cole's 28th Birthday Party
Priest longed to touch Kimberley Walsh, but was forever denied