Did you watch Strictly last weekend? We totally didn't. We we re far too busy drinking beer, singing football songs and generally being upstanding and resolute manly men who have no truck with this sissy reality TV show dancing nonsense.
Our girlfriends, though, aren't manly men (thankfully) so they insisted on watching Strictly before we went out, and because a) we're kind, thoughtful types and b) Holly Valance is in it we didn't immediately switch it off and lift the television over our heads, grunting heavily. Perhaps we should have. Perhaps that's the manly thing to have done.
Also we would have worn a vest while we did it
We were lucky to have kept our raging Y chromosomes in check, because we accidentally watched Holly Valance doing the tango to that song off Chicago – you know, the one with the prison bars and slinking and murder and excitement and we haven't seen it at all, you know, we were too busy arm-wrestling bears and smoking cigars.
As it turns out, Holly looks good when she's dancing like this. REAL good. Plus, it's a great homage to one of the best popular musicals our time which we REALLY HAVEN'T SEEN OKAY. Maybe we can endure another Saturday evening of footwork-based levity next week to watch her again, that's all we're saying.
Well, that's not all we're saying. But it's a good summary
Sure, we'll have to drag a motorcycle into the living room and fix it while we watch, and swear throughout whilst scratching ourselves, but we've got to stay manly somehow. Have you ever felt your heteronormative manhood threatened whilst watching Strictly Come Dancing? What did you do to combat it? You should tell us in the comments, but we won't read them because we don't care about other people's feelings on account of us being MEN.