Afternoons used to be so much better. You'd race in from school, eat approximately 7 bowls of cereal and settle down to drink the last Cocopoppy bits in front of Neighbours. The moment the glossy haired Aussie ANGEL that is Holly Valance bounced onto our screens was the moment we became men. Flick created a gaping hole in our hearts that is yet to be filled by any non-fictional woman.

Chairs and phones poor bottle-openers make

When she upped sticks and buggered off to Sydney we threw our Cocopops at the screen in a fit of rage. We thrashed about in our single beds at night searching for an antidote to the pain of our aching hearts. But before you could say "Flick Scully" she was back and even sexier. There was wind blowing in her hair and she had shiny lipstick on. When she told us she was going to give us her Kiss Kiss in a bikini we believed her, then we weren’t angry anymore. Not angry, just horny.

She got worn out trying

Then, just like that, she snuck off the scene again and disappeared into the night leaving us in the wilderness of our love. We weren’t sure we could ever forgive her. As it happens we are pretty forgiving and we are willing to accept her apology in the form of these photos of her naked and completely painted gold. Thankyou Fosters Gold for bringing her back to us.

Australian singer and actress Holly Valance recreates the iconic James Bond Goldfinger pose to celebrate the launch of new premium bottled lager Foster’s Gold