Look at your trowwwwsers, Irina Shayk. They are sexy. You are sexy. You look sexy in those sexy trousers. Well done, sexy Irina Shayk. Well done, sexy trousers. Well done, sexy. Well done sexy Irina Shayk in sexy trousers being all sexy and that.

You ain't never gonna win no limbo contest, gurl

Irina Shayk was at the launch of designer Kinder Aggugini’s latest collection for Macy’s in New York. To be honest, we’ve never heard of Kinder Aggugini or any of his collections, so we’re not sure how excited we should be about his latest one. We have heard of Macy’s, however. In the fiscal year 2009, Macy’s revenue was $24.892 billion. BILLION. That’s, like, well loads.

Imagine you had that much money. What would you do with it? You could buy your own island and go and live on it in lovely solitude. You could get it all in pound coins and build an island out of money. Or you could, y'know, not.

Irina Shayk probably wouldn’t be as stupefied as we are by such a vast sum of money. She dates sparkly-eared perpetually-lubed prancing prima donna Cristiano Ronaldo, who could probably buy Macy’s with the spare change in his tiny pink pocket.

Catwoman's dictaphone was LARGE

Weird, int it? Some people do jobs that you’d widely consider to be pretty good fun, like running around in the sun and kicking a football or being the Queen, and get paid handsomely for it. Other folk, like people that clean the toilets in really grimy pubs and them what remove the shells from those pistachios in packets that don’t have shells, have naff jobs and get paid puny amounts. Inglorious injustice, that’s what that is.