Remember last week we brought you the excellent news that Irina Shayk was rocking the PVC trousers? Well, we’re clearly dealing with a creature of colossal versatility, here. Because, while out doing some Valentine’s shopping in New York yesterday, Irina Shayk was rocking the leather trousers.

Some people get confused between leather and PVC. PVC stands for ‘Polyvinyl Chloride’, which detracts from the sexuality of it somewhat. “Ooh, go and stick your Polyvinyl Chloride catsuit on, love. You know that Polyvinyl Chloride drives me crazy. Grr.”

PVC is a vinyl polymer constructed of repeating vinyl groups (ethenyls) having one of their hydrogens replaced with a chloride group. Perhaps we didn’t pay enough attention in science. But we’ve got good ol’ Wikipedia. In your face, education.

Cristiano Ronaldo, if you’re reading this, look away now...

“Psst, everyone else. Look what Irina Shayk has bought Cristiano Ronaldo for Valentine’s Day. It’s a little cuddly teddy bear. Just goes to show, even if you’re the world’s most expensive footballer and you’re dating one of the world’s sexiest women, you still get a load of old shit come February the 14th.”

Get ready to give Sir Snugglelot plenty of cuddles, Crissy

You can look again now, Cristiano Ronaldo. Hey man, what you been doing? Making a lovely cup of tea? Mmm, that sounds good. You having a nice little snack to go with it? Some doughnuts, perhaps? A nice lemon meringue pie Krispy Kreme? Oh, you don’t eat doughnuts? Because they’re bad for you, is it? Well they’re good enough for Cesc Fabregas, so they’re good enough for us.

"Sometimes on a day off, I go to the Krispy Kreme doughnut shop. When we play at home, I go there after the game, and it's like a doughnut party! Everyone is eating doughnuts inside their cars - it's like a disco!"
Cesc Fabregas, doughnut eating legend