Hang on a minute… do we need a ‘new’ Miranda Kerr? After all, we’ve still got the old one, and she’s hardly old; she’s only 28. Isn’t this a bit like saying we need a new Lionel Messi?

Well, yes, if Lionel Messi had married Orlando Bloom and given birth to a son. (He definitely hasn’t done that – we phoned Lionel to check and he said Orlando’s ‘a bit wet’ for his tastes.)

The thing is, we still love Aussie sweetheart Miranda Kerr. Of course we do. She’s a Victoria’s Secret Angel, for heaven’s sake, which automatically secures her a guaranteed aisle seat in the Club Class section of our affection jumbo. And we’ll probably always love her, unless she gets a tattoo on her face that says ‘I H8 puppies’ or comes round to our house for dinner and displays less than adequate table manners; y’know, commencing eating before everyone’s got their food, covering our lovingly prepared steak tartare in brown sauce before she’s even tried it, eating with her toes – that kind of stuff.


Bloody hell, can't you just use a knife and fork like everyone else?

But modelling’s a cutthroat business. Heck, when Miranda arrived on the scene she was billed as ‘the next Elle Macpherson’. It was clever, really: “Hey look, they’re both models from Australia – we can’t possibly need more than one of those!” And now, in the circle of life kinda way that saw Simba become the Lion King, maybe it’s time for M-Kerr to step aside and let fellow Aussie Sarah Stephens absorb some of the sexy limelight*.

This is her, modelling for Sunseeker Australia, which has nothing to do with luxury motor yachts and everything to do with sexy swimwear:

Sarah Stephens Sunseeker Australia
NOT A YACHT

So, what d'you reckon? Miranda Kerr or Sarah Stephens? Or Elle Macpherson? A nice yacht or some sexy swimwer? Full of difficult choices, isn't it, life?

(*We're not suggesting that Miranda Kerr should be trampled in a wildebeest stampede and then appear as a ghostly vision amongst the stars of the night sky, though – that’d be a bit weird and probably infringe some Disney copyright laws.)