Yeah, yeah, so we’ve got a new idea for a movie, yeah. It’s an animated tale where a chameleon that aspires to be a swashbuckling hero finds himself in a Western town plagued by bandits and is forced to literally play the role of a swashbuckling hero in order to protect the town.

We’ve been smoking something at lunchtime, right? Wrong, we’ve been reading up on the new Johnny Depp and Isla Fisher movie Rango, which premiered in Westwood, California last night.

All of which explains why, instead of indulging in some sexy time with hubby Sacha Baron Cohen, ex-Home and Away hottie Isla Fisher was flashing her flesh on the red carpet.

Frog instantly regretted buying pills from a stranger

The 35-year-old redhead, who plays a desert iguana in Rango, used to be a permanent fixture in the upper echelons of FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World, but didn’t even make last year’s Top 100.

This could be because you lot are anti-redhead (just one, Christina Hendricks, made the listing last year), it could be because she’s married to Cohen, or it could be because she’s had two kids in the last three years. But whatever the reason this exile needs to end NOW!

And speaking of exiles, are any of you Brits living in foreign climes or foreign nationals living in Britain? If so, we want to hear the strangest thing about living in the country where you currently reside. Go on, as you probably know by now, any story worth publishing in the magazine is worth £25 (or, you know, £25s worth of Yen or Euro or whatever the currency is in the country where you now live).

It was ugly and orange, but it was his child and he'd care for it