Janet Jackson once famously had a right nipple.

90 million people saw Janet Jackson’s right nipple.

540,000 people complained about Janet Jackson having a right nipple.

The television network paid out millions of dollars in fines and settlements over indecency claims because Janet Jackson had a right nipple.

Janet Jackson having a right nipple was cited as indicative of the declining morality in America.

Janet Jackson having a right nipple was front page news.


"We had a call about a nipple..."

Programmes like South Park and Family Guy created parody episodes based on the existence of Janet Jackson’s right nipple.

AOL demanded a refund of the $7.5 million they had stumped up to sponsor that fateful 2004 Super Bowl halftime show. Why? That’s right, because Janet Jackson had a right nipple.

The war film featuring no nipples Saving Private Ryan was cut from TV schedules because Janet Jackson had a right nipple.

Some TV networks began imposing a five-minute delay on live broadcasts such as sporting events and awards shows because Janet Jackson had a right nipple.

Tragically, the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show was cancelled that year, because Janet Jackson had a right nipple.


Nothing to see here

Frank Rich of The New York Times argued that George W. Bush’s re-election in 2004 was fundamentally the result of Janet Jackson having a right nipple.

Before she had a right nipple, Janet Jackson’s albums were selling around 10 million (Control) and 12 million (Rhythm Nation) copies. After she had a right nipple, Janet Jackson’s next album (Damita Jo) sold just 2 million copies.

The no-nip Jackson had racked up 27 Top 100 singles in her career, including 10 Number 1’s. The avec-nip Jackson failed to get any of her singles into the Top 40.

The moral of the story: NIPPLES ARE EVIL.

P.S. Janet Jackson was in concert In Taiwan wearing this saucy rubber catsuit. Her nipples were nowhere to be seen, THANK GOD.