Up until around 11am this morning, we never cared much for Agatha Christie or anything her yawn-inducing novels had to offer us. But then everything changed when it was announced that her Miss Marple character is to be revived for the big screen – with Jennifer Garner in the titular role.
Garner will be the third actress to have played Marple, behind Dame Margaret Rutherford and Angela Lansbury (her off Murder, She Wrote) – so it goes without saying that she’ll be by far and away the fittest incarnation of the cardigan wearing crime solver. Unless you’re into the seriously older lady, of course. Which we’re not at all. Honest. Just look how terrifying Dame Maggie is when set loose with a rolling pin...
"I swear, if you leave Deal Or No Deal on for one more second..."
Scary, huh? We told you Garner would be a definite improvement. Our trusty companion Wikipedia (see? We really didn’t care much for poor old Aggy and her books, so our knowledge is scarce at best) tells us that Miss Marple is “superficially stereotypical, dressed neatly in tweed and is frequently seen knitting or pulling weeds in her garden.” Yawn. What a waste of Jennifer Garner’s standout talent: looking proper sexy.
The necklace understandably made a break to see 'the boys' up close
And she is proper sexy, make no mistake. You’ve probably even forgotten that she is technically a MILF – a quick glance at her FHM cover girl profile would tell you that.
Those behind the film have said Garner is all signed up to play a more ‘contemporary’ (aka younger and sexier) version of the crime-solving spinster. So she’ll actually be serving out fistfuls of justice dressed only in tight spandex, right? Just like Ellen Page’s superhero debut? Instead of knitting and weeding?
Sadly, probably not. The suits at Disney are producing the new film, so the chances of seeing the yummy mummy in some seriously revealing outfits are pretty slim.
Still, we can dream...