Jessica Alba was at the premiere of her new movie, Machete, yesterday. The film is the latest from Robert Rodriguez, the director of El Mariachi and Planet Terror. Is it pretty much redundant to say she looked amazing? Of course she looked amazing, she's JESSICA ALBA. In the film she plays some sort of customs officer, which sounds like a totally boring character to play, but she still looks amazing in all the clips we've seen.  These are examples of how she looked amazing.

Jessica Alba at the Machete premiere

And in close-up. Still amazing, but a more concentrated version of amazing.

Jessica Alba close-up

Other things in the world try to look as amazing as Jessica Alba but often don't succeed. Like the Northern Lights.



Less amazing. They're pretty, but they're just lights. You can see lights anytime, just flick a switch or look at a street lamp. Maybe the Pyramids are more amazing?



Less amazing. They're just buildings, albeit buildings that are such a feat of ancient engineering that their existence continues to baffle and amaze old historians with big moustaches. Whatever; they don't even have windows. Perhaps a basset hound dressed as Father Christmas?



Nearly as amazing. Well done, Basset hound dressed as Father Christmas; you are a very funny and pleasingly festive dog. But you are categorically no Jessica Alba.

In short: try harder, everything else in the world.