America was having itself a little awards ceremony on Sunday night, and it was to do with music, so it’s called the American Music Awards. But being America, you didn’t have to be involved in music to be there, you could be an actress or a tagalong other half (that’s you Russell Brand).

Now, we have no problem with actresses going along, because you have to be really famous and important if you’re going to be handing out awards. And oh look, right on cue, there to dish out a gong or two was Jessica Alba:

Jessica Alba at the American Music Awards in a black dress

Even though his whole marrying Katy Perry stunt has hurt us bad, there was even an opportunity for Russell Brand to actually prove his worth and pacify us for a little while. But no, he passed up that opportunity. Come on Russell, his throat is exposed…

Russell Brand, Justin Bieber and Katy Perry at the American Music Awards

Openings like that don’t come along very often, which means you’ve made us even more angry now Brand. So we feel absolutely no guilt for saying “here, now everybody stare at Katy Perry’s relatively disappointing cleavage”:

Katy Perry in a red outfit singing at the American Music Awards

And we couldn’t really get away with not mentioning Rihanna. Who had gone a bit Kevin Keegan with her new hair do. Except for the fact that it’s still red, and Keegan is now grey. It’s slightly disappointing that Kev has short hair now too, it would just be all the more nostalgic if he was clinging on to the style from his most famous time a-la Brian May. Oh yeah, Rihanna, hot, etc:

Rihanna singing at the American Music Awards