When perennial stunner Megan Fox finally decides to hang up her ‘being hot’ boots, Jessica Lowndes will be ready and waiting in the wings to fill them.

They look very much alike, y’see? In fact, rather like a modern day Archimedes of Syracuse, maybe we’ve inadvertently hit upon something here. He was running a lovely sudsy bath, we’re poring over pictures of two comprehensively attractive women. What’s the difference? Where’s our world reverence? There’s no justice in this world.

The thing is, they do look awfully similar, Megan Fox and Jessica Lowndes. And you never see the two of them together. Perhaps – and please indulge us in conjecture for a moment – they are one and the same person.

Or, perhaps, just as likely, they merely look a bit alike because there are LOADS of people on the planet and it’s a bit much to expect the human-making factory to produce six and a half billion completely unique creations, OKAY?


Sexy lil' squirrel

Anyway, while she waits for Megan Fox to ‘do a Mel Gibson’ and self-destruct so she can assume her mantle, J-Lowndes is happily being in programmes and going to parties wearing dresses.

Like CoverGirl’s 50th Anniversary party in Los Angeles, for instance. 90210’s resident mentalist Jessica was there, Megan Fox was not. Suspicious? Probably not.

Brilliantly, the glitzy bash was held at BOA Steakhouse in West Hollywood. This makes a nice change from all the other brazenly ostentatious LA parties held in nightclubs that sound like they’re named after Greek gods. Like the little-known Greek gods of “No trainers,” and “Sorry pal, not tonight”.

We’ve been perusing the BOA menu – for journalistic research, DEFINITELY not as Monday morning foodporn – and we reckon the Lowndesmeister had the ‘Dungeness crab cocktail’ for starter and followed it with the free range veal chop with foie gras butter, some broccolini, truffled cheese fries and sautéed spinach. Oh, and mac-n-cheese. Well, she is American, right?


Camouflage attempt: futile

Oh, yeah, and her dress looked a bit like it was made of peanut butter. Almost forgot.