Jessie J – singer of Price Tag and the indisputably earwormy Do It Like A Dude - is apparently our (that is, Britain’s) “answer to Katy Perry,” much in the same way that Billie Piper was our “answer to Britney Spears.” Is Katy Perry even a question? Can you ask her?
Probably not. Also gratifying to see that Billie, despite having perhaps not as stellar a career as Ms Spears, has remained hot the whole way through and not just when she’s releasing a new album. None of that stomping around with no hair assaulting cars with umbrellas nonsense for our Billie.
One of our friends once said like Billie Piper had teeth “like bunting.” It’s true! Watch her next time she smiles, it’s like a street party in her mouth.
What? This article’s supposed to be about Jessie J? Yes. Fair. So Jessie J appeared on this Canadian music channel called “Much Music” last night and wore – well – it’s an outfit, we guess. It’s half-leotard and half catsuit, which is a bit weird.
Also there is an arrow drawn on her leg which takes a circuitous but undeniable route to her lady garden. Saucy!
Maybe you could call it a Catotard
Clearly she just forgot to change out of her superhero costume before going on set (and hey, she’s a busy lady launching this media career of hers, give her a break) and, rather than attending as conventional common-or-garden songstress Jessie J, she’s rocked up as her superpowered alter-ego Ghetto Pop.
Ghetto Pop fights crime solely on estates (innit) by creating tunes that are so catchy they forcibly penetrate the minds of listeners and make them stop what they’re doing and hum along until the police arrive to arrest them.