Kate Middleton (or, to give her the correct title, The Duchess of Cambridge), the only royal that we all actually fancy, was at Wimbledon. Because that’s just the kind of thing that she does. She’s not like, “Gosh, guess I’ll have to arrange to take the day off work if I want to go watch the tennis,” no sir. This is actually part of her 'job'.
"No more strawberries and cream, ta, they cause one's tummy terrible strife"
Although we can’t really complain. We get to photograph the most beautiful women in the world, and when we’re not doing that, we’re writing about them. We basically have the second best job in the world, and if you consider that we don’t have to bump uglies with Prince William as part of the arrangement it might actually qualify as the best.
We’re sticklers for correct social etiquette here at FHM, so we decided to look up how we should refer to her when we write about her.
"Oh look, that poor person fell over. Fantastic"
Apparently, as we’re 'inferiors' (we definitely are, having no family lineage to speak of save the photo album mums gets out sometimes to have a good cry, and barely owning any castles at all) we’re to refer to her as 'Your Grace' the first time we say hello, and then after that it’s 'Ma’am'.
Of course, if we were 'social equals', we’d get to refer to her as 'The Duchess', which is much cooler and makes her sound a bit like she’s a posh-but-dangerous-mob boss played by Helen Mirren. But we’re not. We’re commoners who pick our noses and drink bitter and pay rent, and don’t happen to be ordained by any particular deity to rule over anyone. Ho hum.