Back in the day (and by "back in the day" we mean "about a month ago") you couldn't move for the raw, unadulterated levels of Kate Upton on this website. We'd fallen for her, hard - more often than not, the busty blonde American would be smiling cheerfully from our front page, generally wearing a bikini. If you don't believe us just from looking at her, we documented our entirely imaginary relationship with her in an article, which you should read now.
It involves a lot of jumpers, weirdly
We even mentioned that you should "tune in next week" in our last article featuring Kate, but since then - and that was over a month ago, calendar fans - there's been nothing about her on the site at all. Zilch. Zip. Diddly squat.
If you find that you've been waking up in the morning and feeling sad and tired, looking at the clock and realising you don't have the energy to go out of an evening, or noticing that strange dogs are following you around town and barking, it's probably directly related to the fact that Kate Upton isn't on this website as much as she should be.
Luckily, you can now wake up bright and breezy and stop running from dogs, because she's back thanks to Remix magazine. What is Remix magazine? We don't know. We didn't even look it up. They have Kate Upton on the cover and inside, though, so they're pretty much top-notch all round in our book.
We like New York too, but only as a friend
The front mentions that they've been in NYC with Ms Upton and a bunch of people we've never heard of ever but would swap our lives with in a second just to get the chance to hang out with Kate Upton in New York.