Its been a very long time since we all wished for a seat in steerage class on the Titanic just to be close to the beautiful Ms Winslet, and since then – to be honest – we haven’t really spoken about her a whole bunch. Then out of the blue almost 15 years later, she rocks up looking so hot we spend a good five minutes looking at her and wondering why we haven’t been paying closer attention.

She’s at the Venice film festival where, alongside a bunch of other similarly beautiful women in similarly beautiful dresses, she’s been swanning about at photocalls, premieres and the like and generally making us take interest in films we probably otherwise wouldn’t have cared about.

 Kate Winslet at the premiere for some film probably
Despite a pivotal role in The Hedge of Darkness, undergrowth just couldn't compete with human stars

Films like Carnage, for example. Kate’s in that, and it’s coming out later this year. The title drew us in straight away, mainly because it sounds like the sort of thing you’d pop on the horror channel at about 2am when you can’t sleep – but it’s nothing like that at all. It’s based on a play. Our expectations were appropriately lowered. When was the last time you got excited about a film based on a play? Almost never.

Wait, what’s that? The play’s called God Of Carnage? That’s actually even more exciting. Crushingly, though, in the same vein as There Be Dragons, the play seems to feature neither Gods nor Carnage, and instead deals with two kids having a fight at school and their parents trying to talk to each other about it. The film’s little different.

Poor show. Still, Kate looks good enough for us to have apparently written a whole article about the movie without really noticing, so good work there. Still, can’t say we’ll be rushing out to watch it.

BONUS DISAPPOINTED FILM ARTICLE CONTENT: If you are interested in seeing Gods fight in the playground  you could do worse than checking out this trailer for a film adaptation of God of War that doesn’t really exist: