Katherine Jenkins, famous for opera, singing on Doctor Who, and having a heaving bosom to rival all but the most indomitable of valkyrie sopranos, was at Gorby 80 last week, looking as buxom and blonde as ever. What’s Gorby 80, we hear you ask?
(Well, we can’t really hear you ask, because we’re not sitting anywhere near you when we’re typing this, but join us on the conceit and this will all run much smoother)
To be honest, it sounds a bit like a nightclub that’s so unutterably hip you wouldn’t want to go to it, where gazelle-esque women with unsettling makeup stalk through crowds of men wearing jackets and ridiculously expensive t-shirts.
Doesn't she look like Brooklyn Decker from last week?
That or a French chocolate bar. You know, the sort you’d get when you’re on holiday and you’re feeling a bit dejected from sunburn and your dad gets you a treat to shut you up and the chocolate’s all weird and chalky there’s raisins or something in it. How hard is it to knock up a decent bar of Dairy Milk, Europe?
Xenophobia aside, Gorby 80 was actually a gala, of sorts, to celebrate ex-Soviet Union General Secretary Mikhail Gorbachev’s 80th birthday. Good stuff!
Despite having Kevin Spacey hosting and congratulatory messages from U2, Bill Clinton etc, the musical strength wavered with uh, Mel C and the Scorpions. And Katherine Jenkins, too, of course, who we’re sure is great and we’ve definitely actually listened to her sing on multiple occasions and not just stared at her.
Oh, and some Russian composers who we’ve never heard of, but we’re sure are pretty good. Although if they’re playing alongside Mel C and the Scorpions, who knows?