They say that, over time, couples start to look alike. But ‘they’ say a lot of stuff. ‘They’ said the world was flat. ‘They’ said that “That internet thing will never catch on”. ‘They’ said that there’s no way the Queen would ever have a girl profile on ‘They’ said that we’d all be dead by now. Well what do ‘they’ know?

Well, this time, perhaps they know quite a bit. Just look at Katy Perry and Russell Brand. Or is it Katy Brand and Russell Perry? Or is it Perry Russell and the Katy Brand megabrand? Who knows? If they looked any more similar they’d be giving the Olsen's a run for their money in the Hot Twins 5,000 Guineas at Chepstow.

Knowing me, knowing you

They (yes, they’re back again) say that Russell Brand has had to tame his unruly mane somewhat because it was freaking out the Americans. In doing so, he’s inadvertently replicated his wife’s current barnet. K-Pez’s appearance has also changed a bit, at the Grammys t'other night she looked a bit more like Lily Munster than usual.

One thing’s for sure, though: if we’re going to see one half of this smashing couple packed into a sparkly dress sitting on a swing, we’d plump for the Pezster everytime.

Which is lucky, really, ‘coz while Russ did the decent thing and entertained Katy’s grandma, Katy was doing her business up on the stage, performing her single Not Like The Movies.

No curtains were harmed in the making of this dress

She's got a point, has old K-Pez. Life int like the movies. In the movies you never get to work to realise your banana has been squashed inside your bag and burst all over your gym kit like a Musa nailbomb. That could be a metaphor for life, could that. You're trying to do good, by  going to work on time and taking some healthy fruit and doing some exercise, but someone invades your space and all your valiant plans are dashed. 

That is NOT 'cool bananas'.