Yesterday afternoon, Katy Perry sang some songs at Dos Peublos High School, the educational establishment that taught her how to read, write and wear little PVC dresses.
She came out wearing the school's cheerleader outfit, which was a ruddy wonderful moment, and then peeled it off to reveal a skintight little dress, which made the previous wonderful moment look dull in comparison. Like having a really tasty sandwich from Franx cafe across the road, and then bumping into Kelly Brook and her asking you on a date. Suddenly coronation chicken is no longer the highlight of your lunchtime.
“Maybe you don’t know, but I went to high school here,” she told a gaggle of delighted teenagers.
“I was on this very stage many a lunchtime. I was such a showoff. There was a pumpkin pie-eating contest, which I won, and a freestyling contest that I lost. That was one of the saddest days of my life.”
She also reached out to her fans, lamenting, “High school can be tough, but you know what? You’re stronger than that.”
She's right, high school can be tough. That awkward period of finding your own identity. Forgetting your P.E. kit and having to do gymnastics in your pants and a yellowing vest from lost property. Making your first foray into dating, ridden with acne and performance anxiety. Losing a freestyling contest, mannnnn, that's a drag. Hard lines, K-Pez. Them's the breaks though, eh? At least you've got that pie-eating trophy to keep you warm at night. And trillions of pounds and a famous fiance, of course. Life is tough.
"Haha! Look at that dude's hat. Let's get a photo of it! BTW... who's that old women in the stripey dress?"
MORE KATY PERRY NEWS:
1/ Katy Perry wore a tiny PVC dress
2/ Katy Perry vs. a spaceman at the MTV Awards
3/ Katy Perry gatecrashed a school prom
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