Katy Perry never has one of those days where she feels a bit under the weather so just puts on some comfy clothes, like tracksuit bottoms and a big jumper she’s had for years, and curls up on the sofa drinking soup from a mug watching Jeremy Kyle

Even though she had a cold and was double-dropping antibiotics like M&M’s, she went to the MTV Awards and wore this:

“I’m still here because I’m a pro,” she said, the little trooperette. 

K-Pez said she loves awards shows because "you get free drinks" and "get to meet your idols", "and last year I took home a husband".

Russell Brand wasn't with her last night, so she took the obvious step of having ten different pictures of him painted onto her ten fingernails.

Bit weird, eh? Oh, not weird enough for you? Hold tight, then. Sit right there. We're about to get freaky.

What's that Katy Perry's seen off-stage? She doesn't look too happy, whatever it is. Maybe it's a hungry-looking lion. Perhaps it's a girl she lent ten pounds who never gave it back. Maybe it's Alan Carr. 

She's definitely not happy to see whatever it is; she's flicking it the 'Russell Brands'. 

Ah, that makes 'sense'. It's a spaceman. And they're having a fight. Of course. Should have seen that coming. It's a well-known fact that Katy Perry hates spacemen. And spacemen hate side-boob.

Just another normal day in the life of spaceman-hating sideboob-sporting Katy Perry.

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