Keira Knightley won an Empire Hero award last night, just for generally being great in films and things like that. Good for her! To be honest there doesn’t seem to be a very in-depth description of what the Hero award constitutes, so we’ll have to work that one out for ourselves.

Maybe she rescued some film canisters from a film canister orphanage that had caught fire, and their little film canister lives were in danger. Maybe she carried a really heavy box of clapperboards and didn’t complain about it. Maybe she gave a kidney to an awesome director so he could make a film rather than dying.

We don’t know. As we said, there’s not a great explanation available.

Keira reckoned she could pawn the award and maybe make enough money  to buy some shoulders for her dress

Still, she won it. Plus, she also fancies a snog! This is an exciting development. It was recently-single Keira’s birthday (she’s 26, by the way) and she said so when accepting her award:

“It was my birthday yesterday, so I want to thank Empire for such a brilliant birthday present; to be made a hero on your 26th birthday is fantastic.

“I want to thank my agent, who’s here tonight. Also, I’m well up for a birthday snog, so please come and find me on table 14! Thank you!”

Gosh. Well. Hello. For some reason, occupied with things like Libya and Japan and “revolution” and “tragedy,” the major networks didn’t go live on this one until this morning, when the award ceremony was over and we had no chance of joining the queue on that magical table 14. Not fair. Not fair at all.