Things we have little interest in: New York Fashion Week*. Things we have a lot of interest in: Kelly Brook looking wonderful anywhere, even if it is at boring old New York Fashion Week. Kelly Brook turned up at a fashion show yesterday looking like this.
Kelly. Oh Kelly, you've done so well. You look like the sort of girl who walks past in slow-motion at the beginning of a teenage comedy, causing the gawky lead male to spend the next 90 minutes trying to find her, convinced that she is the one for him, even though he looks like Mr Muscle with lupus. You're splendid. Here's what you looked like full length (you probably already know this, Kelly, because you are in fact you and have access to full length views of you whenever you see a reflective surface – that must be excellent).
You killed it Kelly. You could conceivably have worn a badge saying 'I Am The Most Beautiful Person Here – F**k You, Runway Models', and literally nobody could have made a solid case against your claim. But you didn't, because you're a lady. Yes, Kelly. Good for you. Don't stoop to our idiotic levels.
Kelly has been in the US a lot recently, since the release of Piranha 3D. America gets Kelly Brook travelling all over the place looking lovely. We currently get the Pope going about in his Hannibal Lecter cell on wheels, telling those of us who don't believe in God that we're essentially bad people. You win again, America.
A story about Kelly Brook turned into a story about the Pope. Topical. How'd that happen? Who knows, it's bloomin' Friday. We're all tired and waiting for the end of the day. Let's play some pool and have a cake.
*Style writer Matt Hambly does care about fashion weeks, but he wears skinny trousers and directional cardigans. He's nice though.