We don't have a stutter. Kelly Brook has just dressed up like a snake because that's the sort of person she is; if she wants, she can do that. If we tried that at work, we'd get laughed out of town.

Does she look good? Of course she does. It's Kelly Brook. She could dress up like a molerat or a slug and we'd probably still find her attractive in some way. Luckily, though, she's gone for one of those lesser-known types of snake that has arms – it might have a been a bit weird if they'd tied them behind her back and she had to flop around like an unskilled 80s breakdancer.

Kelly Brook for PETA
Kelly also unveiled her new line of unappealing rectangular black dresses

Much like fellow spectacularly attractive woman Elisabetta Canalis, Kelly's done this in aid of PETA – and while Elisabetta was looking to stop cute, fluffy animals being slaughtered for their fur,1 Kelly's taken on the challenge of putting an end to snakeskin clothing.

Killing snakes is just something man was meant to do. Like killing wasps, or sharks. If you see a snake and the first thought that races through your panic-ridden mind isn't 'I MUST PROTECT MY FAMILY BY SLAYING THIS DEVILBEAST' then evolution has gone badly wrong somewhere.

Kelly Brook for PETA
Although it also produced Kelly Brook, so clearly it's doing okay

And yet - seeing as Kelly's asked us so nicely - we might think twice about ending the life of a snake, especially for fashion. Although if one comes round our house and starts chewing on the cat, we can't be held responsible for our actions.2

1 An easy job, unless you count minks. Minks are horrid little shits
2 Just to clarify, those actions would probably 
end up amounting to “running away screaming”