Does Kelly Brook ever take a break? Even by her standards, she's been running around a helluva lot recently. Kelly, sit yourself down for two seconds, and have a KitKat. Or some gulaschsuppe. That'll keep you warm. You don't need to attend the opening of a Dior store in Bond Street dressed as a bird for recognition. It's beneath you.

She may have been dressed like this because yesterday was Thanksgiving Day, in honour of our American allies. But Kelly's bird feathers don't look anything like those of a turkey, so that's our theory immediately consigned to the mud. Equally as plausible, she could've done this for the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, for the plight of the highly endangered pigeon.

And this is the view from behind. Kelly Brook at the Dior opening in Bond Street

Kelly has spent the past few nights at The Dorchester hotel in Mayfair, where she's been celebrating her 31st birthday. Fair game, really. A 31st birthday warrants at least a month of festivities. Though we weren't too happy about the rumours circulating about her and Thom Evans (another bloody rugby player) the other night. Not that we're ones to perpetuate unfounded conjecture. So we hope it was just that.

Just how many poor birds were culled in the dressmaking process, we couldn't tell you

A little advice, Kelly, to round things off. Bird fur is acceptable. Animal fur is not. You probably knew that already, but we just wanted to make sure. We wouldn't you being harangued by one of those PETA maniacs. Though with this outfit, you are risking the fury of Bill Oddie. So, if you see anyone in your vicinity wearing one of those green jackets with the gaping pockets, while peering at you through binoculars, take whatever it is you're wearing off. Immediately.