Kim Kardashian, busty heiress and curator of some of the world’s finest booty, is now in not two but three actual dimensions! What about that, eh?
Of course, Kim’s always been in three dimensions, really. She’s not perfectly flat – she’d end up falling down cracks in the pavement. Since the day she was born, Kim’s steadfastly refused to live in anything less than three dimensions. She often dips into the fourth and fifth, too, but us mortals can’t really perceive those without maths degrees and special headgear.
Like a special geometry helmet
But what if you wanted to appreciate the full and awesome power of Kim’s Kurves(TM) in the three dimensions that they’re meant to be viewed in? Up until now, your only options have been to wait arduously outside a venue she’s visiting to see her in person (snore), marry one of her siblings to get on their reality show (no thanks), wait outside her hotel window with a pair of binoculars or wrap a printed picture of her around a coke bottle or butternut squash.
Well put that butternut squash down, friend, because times are changing. As we reported last week, Kim’s on the cover of World’s Most Beautiful, a magazine (appropriately) devoted to the world’s most beautiful things. One of which she is, obviously. Here you can see her at the launch looking at herself wearing retro 3D specs, which is nice.
Look, here she is! We weren't fibbing or nuffink
The magazine (or parts of it, anyway) are in three dimensions. Sure, the third dimension might well be simulated, but isn’t that enough for you? You’d never get the chance to physically touch any of Kim’s dimensions, anyway. Have you seen the size of her fiancée? He’s massive.