We’ll tell you what’s tasty, shall we? What’s tasty is jam. That’s what’s tasty. It’s all fruity and gloopy and delicious. Couple of slices of nice warm toast. Little bit of butter on them. Then add the jam of your choice. Raspberry. Strawberry. Apricot. Blueberry. Even loganberry, if such is your want. Who’s gonna stop you? Not us, that’s for sure. And certainly not FHM favourite and recent coverstar Kim Kardashian.

We're not saying they've definitely been kissing, but...

Kim Kardashian, it transpires, loves jam. She’s named her debut single after the stuff. It’s called Jam (Turn It Up). That’s not to be mistaken for Technotronic’s biggest single to date, the world famous Pump Up The Jam. That song was widely regarded as a pioneer for house music as it took the genre to the mainstream. It went triple platinum and has been remixed countless times. Which is all a bit of a travesty, really, since it actually had tiddly flip to do with jam.

Not another headache

We’re sure K-Kard won’t betray us and jam in such a callous manner. Her single will almost undoubtedly be all about how tasty jam is and, if you play it backwards, will probably give you a delicious recipe for making your own jam.

"I ain't paying for this manicure, biatch. They don't even match, y'get me?"

While she was making her jam-based music video, Kimbo got tasty jam all over her lips. She also got some in her hair. As you can see using your eyes in your head and your brain to make sense of the images your eyes are receiving, Kim Kardashian and jam is a pretty sexy combo. We’re a little worried that Kim might distract from the main focus of the video, though, which is of course jam.

Kim pondered whether Torres and Drogba together could ever work

The video isn’t out yet, so there’s still time to rescue the situation. Maybe they should get rid of Kim Kardashian, and just have slow-mo shots of jam glooping all over tasty things, like in one of those M&S food porn ads. Yeah, that’d be best.